can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
