I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
