I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
