Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
