dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
