turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
