white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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