Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Two words: nipple clamps
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