Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
