I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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