Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Randomize
