their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
