yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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