all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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