hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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