I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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