I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
