Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize