the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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