Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.

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(310): View more from California

tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room

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(509): View more from Washington

I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker

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(713): View more from Texas

yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.

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(509): View more from Washington

And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.

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(540): View more from Virginia

You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men

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