Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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