i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
