the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
