it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
