5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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