please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
