on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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