ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
sex in a hospital.. check
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize