I skipped work to stalk him.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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