my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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