i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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