lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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