she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
