Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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