I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
