He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
