Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
