Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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