so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
