How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
