Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
