Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
