fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
