You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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