keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
God I need to hump something, right now.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
