I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
