help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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