So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize