I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Everything about him screamed your future.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
