Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
