Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I looked at my own cervix.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
