I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
