I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
