My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
