i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
