Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
