i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
