Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Enjoy the penises
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
